The Lunxicon

Actually, that isn’t totally true. Today kind of sucks. It’s hot as hell outside; it’s even hotter in my apartment. Plus, I took a look at my bank statement and realized that I need to get a job as a nude model or something. However, let’s pretend I wrote this yesterday afternoon, when I was completely gruntled.

Gruntled? You ask What the hell does that mean? Well, you’ve probably heard or read about someone being disgruntled—in a bad mood. If you’re gruntled, you’re the opposite! Best thing is that it sounds so oppositional to its meaning. The harsh syllables don’t exactly bring to mind visions of skipping through a meadow with a beautiful woman (or man!) at your side, on your way to a king-sized bed covered with bizarre but sensual toys for sexy time. Quite the opposite in fact!

I’m going to test this theory on my mom the next time she calls me. I can only imagine the conversation:

“How are you, sweetie?”
“Oh, not bad. Not bad, at all. In fact, I’d say I’m quite gruntled. “
“What?”
“I’m gruntled, mom.”
“What are you talking about? Stupid.”

You know, I don’t even need to bother testing this out. I can guarantee that this will happen.  So, yeah, don’t worry, be gruntled.