The Lunxicon

Everyone knows some fool who is all huff and puff but with no real bite or even substance. It’s either some dude you hang out with because you’ve known him/her for years, your friend’s annoying significant other, your significant other’s annoying friend, or some other miscellaneous figure on the periphery of your life’s landscape. These types muster up the energy to bluster like a tornado, but all you want is to put on your headphones until they walk away.

What is with such blustery types? Who knows. I can’t think of a typically riveting, hilarious, and philosophical example, here and I’d apologize if I were sorry.

In any case, I love the word blustery and its related verb and noun. I’m talking, of course, about the use of the word in reference to people, rather than actual winds and storms. I think the reason behind this is that it’s just one letter (conveniently placed for typos) away from “blister,” which is strikingly appropriate. Why? You ask? Well, you have a blustery type who is all hot air and threatening and loud–a coworker, perhaps. For the most part, these people are annoying as hell, but pose no real threat or danger, like a loud dog with no teeth. All you want is for them to shut up and leave you alone so you can continue with whatever you were doing when they so rudely interrupted.

Like with a blister, all you can do is just wait for that shit to be over and done with. If you fuck with a blister, that shit is gonna hurt and probably get infected. If you tell an obnoxious, blustery coworker to shut the fuck up, there will be some fallout. Whether via a boss, another coworker, or in your dealings with them. If it’s a friend of your girl–well, we ALL know what sort of consequences one likely faces after yelling at a friend of your girl.

So, just like a blister, you just deal with it because if you try to expedite the removal of the dude from your immediate surroundings, you will have much more unpleasant crap to deal with. Sure, you won’t have pus running out of a sore in your skin, but you may not get laid for a while. And, really, is it worth it?