Gettin busted bustin in a busted bitch’s (or bastard’s, i suppose, being equal-opportunity and all) face. What a bust.

I just wanted to give kudos to our friend, “Bust.” Hugely versatile and wonderfully short and sweet, it’s  been used to express a variety of emotions and thoughts over  a wide spectrum of contexts.  It is so multifaceted that I don’t even know where to begin.

I will skip the obvious meanings like “busted up the party,” “busted that bitchass motherfucker’s nose,” “I got busted doing a line off my brother’s wang.”etc.” Instead, I will focus on three less traditional, but no less useful, uh, uses.
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blustery paragraphs smash your phonograph in half

Everyone knows some fool who is all huff and puff but with no real bite or even substance. It’s either some dude you hang out with because you’ve known him/her for years, your friend’s annoying significant other, your significant other’s annoying friend, or some other miscellaneous figure on the periphery of your life’s landscape. These types muster up the energy to bluster like a tornado, but all you want is to put on your headphones until they walk away.

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Pete Was Not As Lugubrious As I First Thought

A few years ago, I worked as a freelance copy editor for a sports publisher. The fellow in the neighboring cubicle was a rotund fellow named Pete. Pete was a nice guy, to be sure, and he always had some great soundbites. One of my favorites is, “You’re going to Seattle? Pffft…. Should be called Rainattle.” Yes, Pete had a sparkling wit. That, however, is not the point. Pete was enormous–he weighed almost 500 lbs prior to his gastric bypass. I left the company shortly after his surgery and he still weighed an enormous amount. I’ll say it; he’ll admit it: He was huge. A mammoth mountain of a man. I was surprised that paperclips and staples didn’t get sucked into his gravitational pull and start orbiting around him.

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